Time was tough once
two Generals, the King summonsed thence.
Meditates and asks each
one to fight: for my glory and for our vice;
one stays back: gaurds our truth and be my wise.
oh men of bravery, help me choose your stance.

The first General speaks:
My Lord, Truth my identity.
Slayer of lies.
Trust me to protect you from sins and shame, all the same.
Allow me the honor Lord; to stay by your side.

Speaks the second General unspoken yet.
oh Supreme power, I lie.
but what I protect is a secret truth
and when the Slayer here cuts through me
what unfurls is also truth.
It is only truth that lays in me and it is for truth alone I die.
I kill nought.
Tell me Lord in whom you trust;
the slayer or the protector.

Look up the catalogue of life – vivid memories of the times past, the conscious but clueless present and the wanton desires for your future. Is speed of time relative? Well, I don’t intend to challenge any Einsteinians but there is something queer and interesting about this question – at least to me. Does time move like a cockroach beaten nearly to dead, sluggish, foul looking and mucking your new carpet when you are not having the best of times? And does it actually move like in a transonic jet leaving you feel younger and sparkling compared to the smugs around when you take a liking to your life’s scripts. Let me try to dig myself into an answer. As for you, you might as well take a leave here, for I assure you; you won’t even appreciate my waving warning flags here, once you are through the post. Please refrain from abusive comments. (I know this is wishful thinking, I never had a good soul visiting my blog for ages now let alone commenting on one of my posts. Alas, I learn the true powers of the electronic world; every schmuck can indulge in boastful senseless writings.)
I can recount the whole of my life up until now or keeping with the modern times egosurf and be ready with results within moments (I have never been the brightest of kids and could never preserve my lessons even till the day after the tests; but you could pardon me some levy here.). For starters if you ask me what I would be doing at 8.00 am on a Monday morning when I was of eight. I assure you I would not even take one-half of the full eight seconds to go back, fetch the records of the particular day and come back with the answer which would be as precise as “I tie and re-tie my shoe laces roughly 21 times before I leave for school, add five more whilst I cover the distance from my home to the bus stop which was never more than 10-15 paces, Then the fancy shoe-sole painting on the rough greenish-bluish-brown muddy stinking foam-robbed plastic seats of the bus and the dark blue short elastic pants of the “rub-fellow” (we usually had a rub-fellow or a whipping boy more like a kacha nimboo in our group, someone indifferent to pain and logical reasoning, to whom we would all dedicatedly return the favors our teachers did unto us.) of the day required you to undo your shoe laces two or three times more.STOP.Stop there. Is this narrative of any use to the theory of relativity of speed of time. Why, no. But it dint take me much time to put it together, so I guess it proves something; what exactly it proves is not a question I am willing to give away soo soon.Read on.
Now, I continue my fact-finding by moving to the ‘now’, now- has always been a mystery to me (with my vastly limited intelligence, to see myself make this far, which with all due respect to myself is in particular not so far, by itself is a big mystery.). I don’t quite understand the passage of time now (at the very present). A lot of times the now tends too quickly for my liking to then before I could have acted then and then a lot many times the now just drags on languorously mocking at you even when you don’t want to have any more of now or the then then.( Not a trick, not a trick. The jokes not on you. It’s just me. As confused as then as I am now.)
For instance don’t you feel insanely laborious skipping and skimming through all this truck load of shit? Sense? You get what I’m trying to prove? Now, put it all together. For the unfortunate ones who still don’t get the point I am trying to make, you have my sympathy. Incase, you intend to ask me what exactly I mean by all this, don’t forget I am the author here and I can take the liberty to play the ass-hole as I wish and for as long as i intend to.You cant bloody stop me with all your might. Ahh!!! so now that we know who the boss here is. Carry on.Meh.

My apologies to you, who has managed to sail through to this paragraph, for the way I ended the last one was a disgrace, far exceeding the self-disgusting limits that I have for myself .I guess you understand how I feel, I didn’t have much to contribute by way of writing sense and I for one never believe in putting pressure on the little remaining grey brainy tissue on matters such trivial.*As I regain my composure, allow me to take you forward* The future (looking at my past and my present, the future doesn’t look all that inspiring; but hey, if an ape can manage a man, who can rob me of  my opportunities and deny me my better future?) has always been the most striking character from the last movie I saw. Some day’s I am really in mood to be the dumb superhero who neither gets the girl nor the credit for his meaningless intrepid behaviour in pretense to his high-principled call of duty and whats worse every one now knows the color and the patterns (both by make and the ones unknowingly made while flying together for days without a break or being naturally excited when helping a pretty devotchka) on his underpants; Other days I just dream of being the bad guy looting banks and dishonoring all the beautiful women out there. The times to come seem so unbelievably exciting in the dreams that I could viddy my future for hours with little to complain. I believe, now you should have gained a fair deal more about the ‘Speed of Time’ than when we first set about with the task.

So then, hey presto we are there, we have convincingly proved the postulate “I am a foody for I drool over the smell of food even whilst asleep”. Must confess its all your patience and persistance that has been my motivation right through. I take this opportunity to thank my mom, my dad, my brother, my first cousins, my neice…What? I’m not done yet. Why? Is there a problem? Ohh yeah, Sheesh,there is a small mistake on my part, This was the “Speed of Time”.  I plead innocence, hope you don’t tax your poor friend for the mindless impropriety. Whats more I have repaid the faith and confidence you show on me by revealing the title of my next write-up here. Wait for that one, I swear I wont disappoint. Back with the current post then. We have attained what we set out to do. Why, doubts anyone?  Anyway, since you are here wasting your time and tearing your hair, I assume you are as jobless a creep as I am and it augurs ill when intellectual feather-lights like us begin to question the rationale behind anything. For your gallant showing of solidarity and sticking with this post till now though I would like to confer you with the honored title of “Yes, I read crap.”. Please visit me again. Although I myself don’t visit the place much to add any fresh contents, you are always welcome to go over the same thing again.
So now that I have  a much thought out title and a compelling follow-up, I consider it my moral responsibility to end with a moral for the write-up. Apart from the obvious “Report as spam” (which you may any way proceed to do.) here is a taste of bull served only on this blog. “Time waits for none, weighs on each one.”

Thanks for your time.

Cheers.

You murderers :  http://wwf.panda.org/wwf_news/news/?uNewsID=193168>

Rhino poaching worldwide hit a 15-year high in 2009. The illegal trade is being driven by an Asian demand for horns, made worse by increasingly sophisticated poachers.”

Insensitive you: <http://www.wwfindia.org/about_wwf/priority_species/royal_bengal_tiger/conservation_challenges/>

“For over thousand years, tigers have been hunted as status symbol, decorative item such as wall and floor covering, as souvenirs and curios, and for use in traditional Asian medicines. Hunting for sport probably caused the greatest decline in tiger populations until the 1930s”

Your Ignorance: <http://www.wwfindia.org/about_wwf/priority_species/ganges_river_dolphin/wwf_s_interventions/>

“Once present in tens of thousands of numbers, the Ganges River Dolphin has dwindled abysmally to less than 2000 during the last century owing to direct killing, habitat fragmentation by dams and barrages, indiscriminate fishing and pollution of the rivers.”

You outgrow the giant:<http://www.wwfindia.org/about_wwf/priority_species/asian_elephant/conservation_issues/>

“As forest cover becomes fragmented, elephants raid plantations and crop fields in their quest for food or for moving between forest patches. They uproot and scatter other plants, trees, and groundcover as they forage. This puts them in direct conflict with farmers settling in elephant habitat. A single elephant can devastate a small farmer’s crop holding in one feeding raid. This makes elephants the target of retaliatory killings, especially when people are injured or killed.”

Your never ending needs – http://wwf.panda.org/wwf_news/features/offshore_oil_a_very_messy_business/>

“The oil spill from the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico is the latest episode in a familiar story of polluted waterways, destroyed ecosystems and devastated communities.”

You ‘mankind’,  not even kind to your fellow man.:http://www.survivalinternational.org/news/5509>

‘Since she was the only speaker of [Bo] she was very lonely as she had no one to converse with… Boa Sr. had a very good sense of humour and her smile and full throated laughter were infectious.’

I – I pity you, abhor your deeds

I see a small settler family of pigeons outside our AC units grilled vents, a comfortable bedding of straws,twigs,wires and broken branches-perfect to raise a family, shelter from rain and sun. Looks similar to the one I  uprooted last summer. I know every time I Switch ON the unit how uncomfortable it could get for them, but hey, it is important for me to be nice and cool,my crib to be comfortable, my family to be good”

Movie: I-T CALLING MODEY

Song: Uff tera adda $$$

Lyrics: Ur’s truly (Apologies to Akhtar sahab for this mess.)

-=================================================-

Modey nach le ..
Kand rach ke ..
Modey nach le ..
Kand rach ke ..

Lakhon karodon ko tu, duniya se chipa ke naach
Dhan jo bhi aaye le le, ghaan tu kar ke naach
Rangeeleon mein tu kho ja, kha ke kheela ke naach
Neta Neta’on se tu, milke milake naach

Uff tera adda, I know theres lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with them

Uff tera adda, I know u have a lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with them

Sun le sahiba ..
Paisa ek nasha ..
Hosh hai mera ..
Saara kho gaya ..

Cricket ke deewane, hosh gawa ke naach
Paise tu bhi kamale, paise kamake aake naach
Dil mein hai armaan jitne, saare dafna ke naach
Tann mein badan mein saare stickers laga ke naach

Uff tera adda, I know theres lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with them

Uff tera adda, I know u have a lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with them

Aath team ho ke bhi, nahi thi khushi
Itne bids ke peeche hai btaa kya kya chupii
Teams badne se, hogi unnati
Ab I-T raids ke aagey koi franchise kuch bhi nahiiiii

Benaami share holdings; public ko bata ke naach
Mauritius se aaye fundings, ED ko dikhla ke naach
Pyaar agar hai game se, pyar se nikal ke naach
Jaan o dil hai jo humari, cricket se durr ho ke naach

Uff tera adda, I know theres lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with them

Uff tera adda, I know u have a lot to hide
Uff tere coffers, I like the way they grow
Uff tere cheer-gurls, I say I wanna dance with themu

Movie: 3rd IPL  (2010)
Director\Producer: Mr. Moody
Lyricist: Mr. Shah Hide Afraid
Song Title: Give Me Some franchise
————————————————————–

Saari umar hum
Maar maar ke khel liye
Ek IPL season bhi toh ab humein khelne do
Khelne do

Boom Boom toh naam rakh diya
par paisa hai kahan?
Aman nahi, Amdani ke liye toh humein
khelne do khelne do

Saari umar hum
Maar maar ke khel liye
Ek IPL season bhi toh ab humein khelne do
Khelne do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some franchise
Give me some bids
Give me another chance
I wanna play IPL once again

Give me some franchise
Give me some bids
Give me another chance
I wanna play IPL once again

Kandhon ko bowling
Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Rishvat dena to khud
cricket board ne sikhaya
19 ke rahoge toh selection, varna drop!

Batting, feilding kar pada hatheli par
Ducks aur drop catches ka chaala
Concentration in bowling ne poora
Poora batting bigaad daala

Test career toh gaya
Ab T20 he rahi
Ek IPL season toh ab humein
Khelne do Khelne do

Test career toh gaya
Ab T20 he rahi
Ek IPL season toh ab humein
Khelne do Khelne do

Saari umar hum
Maar maar ke khel liye
Ek IPL season bhi toh ab humein khelne do
Khelne do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some franchise
Give me some bids
Give me another chance
I wanna play IPL once again

Give me some franchise
Give me some bids
Give me another chance
I wanna play IPL once again

Give me some franchise
Give me some bids
Give me another chance
I wanna play IPL once again

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….
Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Cheers,
Gigs

Test cricket (the acme) is real cricket. Test cricket is the litmus test of a cricketer – sentiments often echoed by the cricketing poobah’s of our times; reverberated as much by their gullible followers. So five-day cricket is real cricket eh? It doesn’t matter even if at the end of the fifth day there is no result :P. The main arguments in favour of Test cricket being:
1) Both the sides get equal opportunities (twice each) with Bat and Ball. And thus a better indicator of which side is better than the other.
2) To win a test match. ‘20’ wickets need to be take(The point being Bowlers have an equal say but then you often find the same people blaming the pitch for not having enough for the bowlers in the Tests as well, so who then is the real culprit?)
These are the two points which are often bluntly forced down our system. Then there are others which some genius shoots at us like:
a) Even if we see a draw being played out, don’t forget there is someone who is fighting to protect his turf, to survive a day or two is no small task. There is the other who is throwing the cherry with all his might, for that illusive breakthrough. Only Test cricket can so beautifully capture these two animal instincts in man viz. survival and persistence.
b) The pitch and weather (the two undisputed variables of our beloved game) is at full show in the longer version. The team that utilizes these two factors the best, often comes out trumps.

Fair enough. Agreed. Test cricket is an imperial bouquet of all the colours and flavours that cricket is. But, is the best among the rest?
Now, let’s change things a bit. Our reverently gentlemen are invited to lend their sermonizing sound bites by a certain Mr. Modi or for an ODI event (the villain, the acne on the rich cricketing heritage). One would expect all of the above mentioned arguments to hold true. Is there any reason to believe otherwise? But wait. What do we hear? Suddenly the much detested offshoots of ‘pure’ form of cricket, the pyjama cricket(one shouldn’t be blamed for wondering what then do the player wear during Test matches?) and an opprobrious nuptial knot, the coming together of the green eyed cricketers and the green leaf affluent species from the woods(read bollywood), are our saviours. Godsend gift for the cricket crazy fans choked of the boring test cricket. Some even go on to say that these were the best things to happen to cricket. Mr. Lalit Modi – a messiah cricketing world was waiting for.
Bemused? Not so soon my friend. Wait, there is lot more action in store. Most major one day tournaments last a couple of weeks and then our cockeyed turncoats are restless again, there only mission is to free this world off the gross injustice cricket is subjected to (such a great cause, why blame the ones who fall for their honey coated bitter vision statements for cricket? This also ensures smooth flow of money from their weekly columns and television interviews). Fresh and rejuvenated with renewed vigour, our band of wise men are at it. This time they launch a lengthy moral diatribe on our unassuming holy hero’s (poor creatures, white lily’s none of ‘em). Every single mistake, every niggling injury one picks up is due to the trade-off between national loyalties and the photo ops. Our cricketers are now equalled to pimps for choosing the monster of money land over our motherland. How does one explain such retrograding comments?
Now, let me present a simple scenario: Assume we play five one day matches over five days, on five different pitches, in five different weather conditions with five different balls (consider two matches played with the red balls(one new and the old, likewise two with white balls, one with the latest innovation viz. a pink ball). In a one day match apart from taking wickets a bowler has the added help from being economical (five miserly bowlers could as well do the job). A one day match however doesn’t present a batsmen with the opportunity to play out a couple of days ( a few in great hurry to stash up the mullahs, eating out a few over here and there in one dayer’s is not an uncommon sighting), thereby displaying his full array of defensive strokes for the next update of the coaching manuals. Most people nod in unison, conceding the shorter format has made Test cricket more interesting and more result oriented. Given all this, can one say only Test cricket be considered the true test of a cricketer.
Either ways, I am not out to prove which one’s better. No single form should ever be considered the be-all and end-all. I strongly believe everything under the sun has its place and that everything can coexist. One must also keep in mind, evolution is not just a ‘theory’ and evolution is not necessarily an “improvement”; it is simply change. These changes can be positive, negative, or neutral, depending on the situation. Let cricket chose its natural course of evolution.
For me the disconcerting aspect of the populist comments from the shorter format bashers is – Firstly, this is not the voice of the poor unheard majority. Neither the former cricketers, nor the cricket boards around the world actually give two hoots about, ‘The cricket watching\loving public’. They are the only reason cricket exists. Yes, the poor breed which shouts their throats, sheds tears for their teams. The ones braving the sun, chill and rain. The very ones made to sit on tarmacs and concretes under elegant roofless structures, when our wise men are made comfortable in AC boxes. Spectator is also the one who till the match day is kept unawares about the TV channel over which he should be fighting his cable operator, invariably paying absurdly sum for some channel which might not even have the telecast rights for any of the seasons remaining cricketing action. The poor couch potato is robbed of every opportunity of a replay because of commercial commitments, but don’t you worry dear you can catch up with all the action during the lunch or the post match analysis, which often runs for hours together making one often wonder why is cricket sprinkled in between these ads and sponsored match analysis? At the end of any eventful match day a spectator is either left with physical exhaustion (the ones at the stadium) or with a mental trauma induced by the very insightful commentary from our wise crack-pots. Ideally, no spectator event can exist without the spectator, but we spectators are so loyal to the sport that despite the repeated lashings we still continue to follow the game religiously. You deserve all this and much more fellow cricket fans for you commit the sin of loving the sport to the extent of turning it into a Aladdin’s cave. Abandon all hopes, ye sinners; this albatross hung round your neck will never let you free.
Secondly, every time I see some cricketer or some cricketing alumna speaking in favour of test cricket, I come across comments like ‘During my days we dint have this, we only had such and such things or gears and even then we used to have some unforgettable battles” and others voicing comments like “I grew up watching, so and so score so many Test match hundreds”. Are these reasons enough to believe that one form of game is better than the others. Isn’t it a flawed proposition? Is it reasonable to compare one generations Kishore Kumar, Mohd. Rafi, Manna De, R.D Burman, Lata Mangeskar et al. brand of music to that of the other generations Sonu Nigam, K.K.,Shaan, Shreya Ghosal and likes? 😛

Khh’mon all ya wise guys, give something which is more logical and a tad bit credible, is this the best you guys can come up with?  Stop pretending to save Test cricket and save cricket (yeah and enjoy the sport, if that is not possible, at least don’t leave us sour and guilty for indulging in a sip or two of  T-20).
All I say is let there be cricket and even if you don’t inform your viewers don’t try to misinform the naive audience, for that would be the biggest disservice to the game.

Cheers,

Gigs

Boy! was I waiting for this day since long. I’m thrilled to assert and confirm that ‘it’ happened last night. Yes. Finally, I managed to shed all my inert inhibitions and a whole lot more ;), I surrendered myself to the longing thirst for eternal bliss.

The pumping heart, eager eyes, sweaty palms, numbing dryness running throat downwards .Imagine the reaching fingers, resting on her laps, the fear of being scrutinized, does she like what she sees?, will she get back to me again?…burdened by such trivial cognitions well before the moment of reckoning, ‘The ACT’ – began; sure added to the kick.

The door which was irresistibly inviting when half open was shut behind me now; surely I can’t back off from here; a cold pause (The frontal lobes working overtime by now: 1. I’ll start by saying this is ‘MY FIRST VERY TIME’ and things will be fine .2.No.Everyone indulges in it, why be soo apprehensive then? 3. But you don’t even know how to ‘start it’ and what about the ‘follow-up’.4.Huh? As if the other person cares :p )

I have been reading a lot about this, watching closely, knocked for sixes  by the antics of a few, sickened by the aggressive and crude animal in some. Gravity defying stunts and beating round the ‘bush’ better left to the pro’s, I make a mental commitment for consistent silken-smooth, tender advances. +Wow+ all the fore-play was such a stimulating prelude (I asked myself. Should I then, be wasting any more time?)

With ‘Hari Sree Ganapathaye Namaha’ I threw myself into the blogging fête 🙂

Cheers,

Gigs

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